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Baffled by baby hunger.

Before I had Christian I never felt even the tinges of baby hunger at any point in my life.
I’d seen display of such feelings. In the squeals of excitement from adult people coming into contact with baby people. In my trips into stores with small clothing where babyless friends wanted to stop by “just to look.” In the faces on mothers and grandmothers lighting up whenever those little rugrats were mentioned.
I just never understand what all the hubbub was about. (of course admitting this this to anyone would be social suicide. Not liking babies is as offensive and alienating as hating bacon or using your instead of you’re.)
To me baby shoes were just small versions of regular shoes, babies dind’t really do much besides cry and poop and the only decent thing a baby could do was turn 2 and become a toddler.
I always loved kids and sure, I wanted some one day but I wasn’t in any hurry, at all.

I’d been married for about 9 months when I found out I was pregnant.
Very much by accident.
I was petrified.
I knew it was a blessing to have a baby and I didn’t want to be ungrateful but I wasn’t ready.
I wanted the test to be wrong. I wanted to turn back time. I did not want to be a mother, yet. I had more life to live!
Among my biggest fears was the thought that I would never again have my own identity, I’d go from being someone to just being someone’s mom.
As my pregnancy carried on, my fears grew.

I’ve heard people say that they were never warned about how difficult parenting is.
That baffles me.
My experience was exactly the opposite. I was constantly being warned.
“Keep that baby in as long as you can!”
“Have fun now, because once the baby comes..”
“You’ll never sleep again.”
And it seemed like all I ever saw were kids throwing fits and frazzled worn out parents.
I also noticed that when parents talked positively about parenthood they mostly spoke about how much they love their kids. I started forming the idea that, sure, they love their kids a bunch which is why they are willing to suffer through the parenting thing. That was how I explained the people in my family who were claiming that they liked the gig.

My anxiety was growing.

I remember a day (at probably 8 months along) sitting in the break room at work with a co-worker who had a one year old.
“Are you excited?” he asked me.
Instead of the instinctive “Yes, of course!” I had adopted, I leveled with him.
“Tell me honestly, I know you love your child but the parenting part… is it awful?”
I’ll never forget his response. His eyes lit up.
“It’s not. It’s the most amazing thing in the world. It gets better every day. I’ve never been happier.”

I don’t know why he had such a big effect on me. I guess he was just so dang convincing. This guy was a straight shooter, I hoped he was telling the truth.

A month or so later I went into labor.

Christian was 3 weeks early. When he came out he was grunting, which meant that his lungs weren’t fully developed.
They whisked him away before I really had a chance to see him.
After a very short nap I scooted out of bed, showered and hobbled upstairs to the NICU.
As I sat next to his incubator, stroked his tiny hands and stared at his perfect little face I felt a kind of love that I had never even been able to imagine before. I think my heart had to grow two sizes to even fit it all in. The next two weeks I spent every waking moment in that chair and would always cry when I had to leave at night. I didn’t want to be away from him for a second.


When I took him home I checked his car seat maybe 30 times. Even though I lived about two blocks away from the hospital I couldn’t believe that I was expected to just drive him home, cars around me seemed to be going recklessly fast! Outside the parking lot I took 4 right turns around the block to avoiding making one left into an intersection.

In the next few months I learned to identify the glazing over of eyeballs that would signify that my story about his (undeniably adorable) squeals had gone on too long. I couldn’t pay attention to movies for more than five minutes at a time without taking a break to stare at him, even when he was sleeping. He was a colicky baby and cried constantly but when this was mentioned I came quickly to his defense “He’s so good, he doesn’t cry like this all the time.” I almost died when I found a pair of baby pants at H&M with cuffs and suspenders. YES, LITTLE BABY SUSPENDERS!
Much to my bewilderment, I had turned into a bonafide, baby lovin’ fool.


He’ll turn 3 this fall.
My experience as his mother so far has been an absolute delight.
I thank god for Christian every single night.
He didn’t rob me of my dreams he added to them.
I used to be someone. Now I am someone who is also someone’s mother.

I’m not saying it isn’t a big job, I’m just saying …
it’s the best one I’ve ever had.

PS I really want to thank you all for your all of the incredible kind words yesterday! Reading your comments and emails was the perfect way to celebrate the win. Thank you so much!

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  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 5:05 am

    That was so beautiful.. I feel the same way every single day!!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 5:10 am

    I was 22 and had been married for 5 months when I fell pregnant with my first son… I love everything you wrote. It’s spot on. x

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 5:26 am

    What a sweet message; and cute little boy!!

  • Reply
    PennyPincherFashion (@PPFGirl)
    May 23, 2013 at 5:27 am

    Such a sweet post – I completely agree with what you wrote…being a mom is the single hardest & best job there is. I’m new to your blog & so happy I found it! Will be reading daily now ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 5:28 am

    Cara – your post was beautiful (as is your son) and your honesty, refreshing. I choked up when I got to “I used to be someone. Now I am someone who is also someoneโ€™s mother.” If you parent as well as you write, Christian is a lucky little boy!

    • Reply
      May 23, 2013 at 7:05 am

      I completely agree with Lynne!! So touching and I couldn’t agree more with everything you said!! ๐Ÿ™‚ Love!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 5:39 am

    I never knew you felt that way. I’m still trying to figure out who you talked to. I think I have an idea, but not completely sure. Can you believe our boys will be 3? It’s crazy! It does, but doesn’t feel like it’s been 3 years. Love you mama! And congrats on the win! I knew you’d do it!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 5:40 am

    Beautifully written Cara!
    And I didn’t get the chance to write yesterday but CONGRATS on your win! Super excited for you! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 5:52 am

    I feel the same way. I had been married to my ex for three years when I got pregnant and I was never oooh, baby! I felt there was something wrong with me, like I was missing the “mommy gene”. My son was four weeks early (and a big baby still) and I felt protective but I still hadn’t had “the bond” until I slept and realized oh…wait I’m not pregnant, what the…who the….. I was also finishing my masters and had these grand visions of moving back to the city and moving up the corporate ladder. Now I work in a smaller office and while I still don’t have the gagas over a baby (I think they’re cute, but they’re a lot more fun as they get bigger), I know I want another child and I know I don’t need to be in a corporate office or in a big city to make me successful. Making sure my son is happy and gives me a kiss at night are the things I find my success in. Oh and making sure he didn’t kick the dog or hide hotwheels in my bed or find out he has a new girlfriend at daycare (basically any girl that shares her cookie is his new girlfriend and he gives her a hotwheel…I’m scared he will be the husband who buys his wife a new lawn mower for her birthday). Congrats again!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 5:55 am

    Aw how lovely Cara, I was welling up reading it. I have a little boy too and was worried about loosing my identity too, but when he was born I soon forgot about that! I feel like my heart is going to burst everyday as I love him more every day. I work full time but being a mummy is the best job ever!!

  • Reply
    Delphine from AndFreedomFor
    May 23, 2013 at 5:55 am

    Thank you for this post! I want to have kids but I am totally afraid of losing my identity and being overwhelmed with the work. It’s nice to read something positive!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 6:03 am

    OK. I read your blog faithfully. I’ve never left s comment on a blog in my life. You’ve taught me how to put on makeup the right way and your voice is in my head every morning when I get ready. (Haha). But TODAY….when I read this I was dreading another day of being a mommy because I am a “frazzled, worn out parent” to two little boys. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for expressing yourself on such a way that reminded me of all the love I have on my heart for my own children. I needed that today.

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 6:05 am

    Cara, wonderful post and wonderful pictures! Thanks for being so transparent and sharing from your heart.

  • Reply
    Heather H.
    May 23, 2013 at 6:06 am

    Beautiful post! I am 7 months pregnant right now and I can’t wait for my baby girl to get here. I was wondering if you had some hair and make-up tips so that I don’t look like complete a$$ in the hospital photos ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 6:10 am

    You will probably feel that way again. As he grows and your relationship with him changes, you will wonder about who you are. Our lives are so entwined BUT don’t worry too much. Each phase is so amazing. My son, my first child, will be 20 in August. He’s having his first child in Nov. I love the man he is becoming even more than the sweet baby boy he was. (How can you not love a child who calls you “my mama” and says it the first time on Mother’s Day?) While I know he has many challenges ahead, he will also be fine. You have said it perfectly – Now I am someone who is also someoneโ€™s mother. I really enjoy your blog and share it with everyone I know. My daughters laugh at me for speaking of you as if we are friends. On a side note, my oldest daughter’s name is Celeste, which is uncommon, so I was excited to read that you have a sister named Celeste. Congratulations on the big win!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 6:12 am

    As a mom of 2 toddlers, and having my first at 22, I can totally relate. I almost teared up as you were talking about the ride home and the instant change once he was born. As parents, we get so caught up in the “job”, and trust me, with TWO toddlers (yes I said TWO)it’s easy to do. This was a great reminder of what is truly important in life. I couldn’t have said it better myself. Beautiful Post ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 6:17 am

    Aw, I’ve been totally torn apart with baby fever for the past few months, and now I’m literally sitting here in a puddle of tears. This is so sweet and so beautiful, and I really need a baby!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 6:18 am

    Thank you so much for this. I am 20 weeks today and have a lot of he same feelings. I often wonder why everyone feels the need to warn you about what parenting “is.” Why must everyone be do doomsday ish about it? Thanks for the positive ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 6:19 am

    This is wonderful. I love your open honesty about your fears and losing your identity. It is amazing what growing another human being within you does…changes you in ways you couldn’t even fathom. Yes, having a baby can be difficult and scary but what you take from it eclipses the difficulties. Best thing that ever happened to be was becoming a mother. My sweet boy will be four in September…these years have yielded much self discovery for me, and I find I want to spend as much time with him as I can. Days off are now usually mommy-Logan days. Your post made me cry, not in a bad way, but I can only imagine how it must have felt to leave your tiny baby in ICU. This was such a great read first thing in my morning! Looking forward to reading more. Thank you for sharing a part of your story!

  • Reply
    kassie (@kmakesithappen)
    May 23, 2013 at 6:20 am

    wow what a beautiful post, I got pregnant at 20 and was so scared because I didn’t think I’d be a good mother, now I thank god everyday for my 2 year old who is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. If I wasn’t a stay at home mom I would have never started my beauty blog and then I would have never found out how much I love it

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 6:27 am

    This post was so beautiful! Thank you for sharing such honest thoughts. I’m not yet a mother, but I sure do appreciate hearing someone who once thought THE EXACT SAME THINGS I do, love it so much…truly love it!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 6:39 am

    I always felt parenting and being a mother were totally different. Motherhood is nurturing and loving, supportive, kissing bobo’s, I am good at that part. Parenting is showing, explaining, rules, saying no and pretty much everything I am not so good at. It took me until 33 to have my first, I can say there is no “good time” to have children, in someone way they will challenge how you feel about them and think about yourself…. and that’s why they say your children teach you more about yourself then anything else could.

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 6:42 am

    I consistently feel you read my mind. All. The. Time. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what comes next for me. Do I really want kids? Won’t they just cry all the time? Will I ever sleep again? I was in the exact same mindset you described. You’ve convinced me motherhood is an experience I definitely want to have ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you so much, for this post and all the other inspiring ones. You’re one of my favorites!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 6:50 am

    I have 3 children. They are 14, 12 & 9. The teenage years are HARD!! I am not going to lie. But, I still absolutely love being a mom. I look back at the toddler years now and think those were the easy years. ๐Ÿ™‚ Kids are amazing! To watch them grow and become people. After having my first and second, I realized how fast they grow and they aren’t babies long. I knew when I had my third that it was really I wanted another child not just a baby. I think sometimes people want “babies” but not children. No one ever looks at a 7 year old and says, “oh, I want one!” But essentially that is what you are doing. The whole thing flies by. Every stage brings new challenges and excitement. Parenting is exhausting, fun, heart wrenching, complicated, consuming, beautiful and ugly all at the same time and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 6:57 am

    I have 3 daughters and I love them more than I can say. What scared me when I was pregnant with my second child is not knowing if I would have enough love to go around, needless to say your heart just keeps expanding! Parenting is the hardest job I have ever done but also the most rewarding. I love being a mommy and would not change a thing about my life!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 6:59 am

    Just wanted to say how perfect your timing is. My husband and I have been debating whether now is the right time. I’m 34 and scared to death about being the ” perfect” mom, which I realize is impossible. I have an appointment tomorrow and wasn’t sure if I was going to cancel. After reading your post it encouraged my heart to go. Thank you Cara for listening to your heart and posting this today. I believe it was written for me.. {LOVE} J

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 7:23 am

    Wow…just wow..I am reading this at work and tears started to fill my eyes. I though I was the only one who felt that way. I mean I love children and is thinking about being a mom one day but as of right now when I think about having my own I will freeze up and go “hhheeeecckkk noooo!”. I am 30 and I am getting pressure a lot now saying “you’re not getting any younger”- and even though I am with the man I want to be with, who also has talked about having kids, I still run to my birth control and take it like tic-tacs lol…I have that same fear, that when or if I have a kid my life will be insignificant and I won’t have any time to do what I love. But then I read your blog I felt more at ease. I guess I am getting the same conflicting messages. I get pressured to have children but then the same people who want me to have kids say “oh well your life is over once you have them” or “good bye to sleep”- I mean why pressure me into something so terrifying??!!!…I guess people think its easier to be negative than positive, but I am glad you had a positive outcome but good things happen to good people and you are very blessed…thank you again for this post <3

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 7:28 am

    aw this made me tear up big time, so sweet ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 7:29 am

    being 9 1/2 months pregnant reading this it totally hit home for me.
    I’ve had so many fears about being a first time mom. it really is terrifying especially the unknown.
    With 2 more weeks to go I’m definitely becoming more anxious and scared out of my mind so this post is exactly what I needed to read today.
    There are so many emotions tied to pregnancy but I know as soon as I see her, I’ll melt ๐Ÿ™‚

    Thanks for sharing this.
    It’s perfect timing for me ๐Ÿ™‚


  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 7:33 am

    You inspire me in so many ways!! ๐Ÿ™‚ I don’t want kids anytime soon because to me to- babies seem like a dream killer. But seeing my sister in law and few friends tackle being young loving moms and still working on fulfilling their dream makes me think twice. Still want to hold if until I’m done with school and married and what not but this made me realize being preganant isn’t the worst thing in the world.

    Thanks cara

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 7:39 am

    I am one of those people who can gaze adoringly at a sleeping infant for half an hour. I squealed when you posted that adorable pic of Christian and Nick last night. But I am still completely and utterly terrified of parenting. When I can’t settle a niece/nephew/godson I can hand them off. I’m scared of being the one that they get handed off too!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 7:41 am

    What a sweet post! I didn’t really get it either until I had my first baby. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but also the most important.

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 7:44 am

    Such a beautifully written post – thanks for sharing! Being a mother is the most terrifyingly amazing
    job :)!

  • Reply
    Alisha J
    May 23, 2013 at 7:52 am

    OMG, even though I could predict where this story was going, it still brought tears to my eyes!!! Yes, motherhood and all it entails is a daunting task. But as they say: With big sacrifice comes big rewards. Small ones too, like hearing them laugh, watching their little bodies grow, looking into innocent eyes sparkling with excitement. Nothing is ever better in my day than laying with my son laughing and cuddling. I cherish those moments SO much, especially since I know as he gets bigger he will allow this less and less ๐Ÿ™ Ah, motherhood, the salary-less 24/7/365 job for life, but there truly is no more rewarding job! Thanks for sharing and CONGRATULATIONS on being chosen for the Allure Blogger – get ready for 1,000’s of new readers!!! You deserve it!!!

  • Reply
    [email protected][kreyv]
    May 23, 2013 at 7:54 am

    I had similar experiences when we were waiting for Stella to come, except we waited nine years before starting our family! I just wasn’t a baby person, but I knew our future included children. I also got the same negative comments about lack of sleep, price of diapers, etc. But, then….when they come, holy cow! I love being a mother more than anything. It is the best thing ever, and THAT’S what I tell people who are expecting, not the other stuff–because that stuff just kind of melts away. Even with Stella (3 1/2), I’m still not a baby person. I am obsessed with her and was when SHE was a baby, but I’m still not one who is always holding other people’s babies! You?

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 7:55 am

    Beautiful and encouraging words!!
    I found out I was PG in April when my husband and I were visiting family and on our way to our honeymoon! I had EXACTLY the same feelings of being completely freaked out and all I could do is cry and think about me…. Than after a couple weeks I got used to it and started to embrace it…
    Unfortunately a few weeks after we lost the baby, due to an emergency Appendicitis…
    It was very sad…. But I now know that I am ready to have a baby… Plus I’m pushing it considering I am 35… 25 at heart and in looks… Haha!
    Your little boy is adorable! Congrats to you! And thanks for your words… I don’t feel as alone in some ways….

  • Reply
    CJ Hawkinson
    May 23, 2013 at 7:59 am

    This brought tears to my eyes and calmed a lot of my fears, as my hubby and I have been trying to get pregnant. Thank you for sharing this!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 8:00 am

    I’ve been married two years now, and although we are pretty sure we want children, I am still terrified by the thought, largely for reasons you mentioned in your post. Thank you so much for the encouraging words. They mean a lot!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 8:14 am

    I love this post. Even though for me, I was backwards. I always knew I wanted kids, my husband wanted kids and even though we waited awhile till we were ready (nobody is ever ready)I was still scared. Mostly scared of the unknown but very much excited to be someone’s mom. I craved that title! And I love it, yes it has its hard parts, but for the most part, it’s pretty awesome. My baby girl will be 7 months next week and I love her to pieces. But you know what was the hardest part for me? Remembering that I am someone’s wife, someone’s daugher and someone’s friend. I got caught up with being a mom that I forgot about my other relationships, even the one with myself. That’s why I am so glad to have found your blog, you have helped me reconnect with my old self. I’m slowly trying to work on my other relationships and it’s hard but as moms we need to find a balance so that we don’t lose ourselves. You have a beautiful family, and you’re a beautiful person inside and out. Thanks for posting this and letting us into your personal life.

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 8:15 am

    Darnit, woman. You’ve got me crying at work.

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 8:15 am

    Beautiful. Thank you for sharing your fears, dreams and love for your sweet sweet baby boy. It was a wonderful read for me this am as I am preparing to write my 1st baby boy a letter for his graduation.

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 8:28 am

    Beautiful post. I am the very proud Mom to four little ones, two girls and two boys (8,7,5 & 3). I read somewhere that having a child is like taking a piece of your heart and having walk around outside your body, and this is so true. I still remember taking my oldest (Bella) home as a new born from the hospital and I kept looking at the nurses and hospital staff thinking “You are really going to let me leave with this baby? You don’t seem to understand I have no idea what I am doing….”, I am an only child and had little to no experience with babies or children. But you muddle through and being a parent is the best thing in my life (well my husband too). And remember (heard this from a Granny in Target) regarding little ones, “the days are long but the years are short”, very true. Enjoy your little one.

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 8:37 am

    Thank you so much for writing this. I’m getting married in two weeks, and it seems like people can’t just be happy enough for us; they have to add, “I just know you are going to get pregnant on your honeymoon!” Um, a) I hope not, and b) what is wrong with you?? It was starting to make me feel like something was wrong with ME, that I didn’t want to jump on that baby train right after the “I do.” I’m not ga-ga over babies in general, frankly they scare the hell out of me. And, although I know I will love my own children, I’m not champing at the bit to go make one. I just wish people would keep quiet and let me enjoy this particular time, without rushing me to the next one.

  • Reply
    Maria Jones
    May 23, 2013 at 8:38 am

    Thank you for this…so beautiful to hear your love for Christian! Aren’t our boys THE best?? ๐Ÿ™‚ I love reading your blog, congratulations again on your big win!!!!! Xoxo

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 8:43 am

    Beautiful words

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 8:56 am

    Great Post, it made my day! ๐Ÿ™‚ It gave us quite an insight about who you really are.
    Christian is a very blessed little person to have you as his mom. Thanks for sharing!

  • Reply
    [email protected]
    May 23, 2013 at 8:58 am

    Perfect words. You’ve inspired me!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 9:04 am

    This post really touched me. I feel like we are twins at heart. Babies never excited me. I have been married for five years, and I am currently 16 weeks along and have had a lot of similar fears about my future life. Even after 5 years! I think you must have written this especially for me. I feel so blessed to have found your blog for 800 different reasons. Thank you.

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 9:10 am

    This was beautiful…i’m pregnant with my first and i’m scared…so thank you for this beautiful post!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 9:14 am

    Ok your child is absolutely ADORABLE! He is so cute and I love his name. Congrats you made it passed the “terrible two’s”. Love your blog and congrats on the Allure contest

  • Reply
    Lindsay C.
    May 23, 2013 at 9:14 am

    i love reading your post that aren’t just about beauty. it lets us know more of who you are. having a baby is a very scary thing & i know exactly how you feel! i have a 9 month old & now i find myself walking through stores jusy to see what baby stuff they have! little boys have a special way of stealing their mama’s heart:) especially curly headed ones (my son has wild curly hair too!) it truely is amazing what being a parent teaches you and how it nakes your life just that much better!!!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 9:17 am

    You are a beautiful writer. Your article about mommying touched me so and reminded me of my entry into motherhood. I was ambivalent about being a mother, but was approaching 32 and thought I better get on with it. Surprisingly, I loved being pregnant and when Katie was born I took one look at her and fell hopelessly in love. She’ll be turning 30 this August and believe me, our relationship gets richer every day. She is the single most astonishingly beautiful thing I have ever done. I wrote about her recently in my blog for Mother’s Day. I would be honored if you would read about her. The blog is entitled She is the Reason I Celebrate Mother’s Day and it’s on the landing page. God bless you and a huge Congratualtions on winning the Beauty Blogger of the Year by Allure! Cheryl Bryant Rushing

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 9:28 am

    This sounds VERY similar to my story!! Now, my “baby” just turned 18 years old and graduated high school!! So bittersweet as I look back on the finger paintings, letters to Santa and the tiny handprints she’s left behind!! (A LONG time ago, I might add!)
    Such a sweet story. This is why your the best blogger!! Your such an inspiration to everyone! Thanks, Cara!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 9:36 am

    Social suicide here… I don’t like kids (and everyone I know, knows it… a wonder I still have friends LOL). Their noise and nonsense sends me thru the roof. Babies are cute and precious (and frankly, miracles!) and I’d hold one for a while if I knew one at the moment, but having little ones around all the time… it’s just not for me. I have been told that I am selfish, and that I will regret not having children but I guess that remains to be seen. I’ve also been told that “it’s not too late” and that I should just go for it and my feelings will change, and there’s a good chance they would, but I’m almost 43 and have moved on from the idea altogether. I’ve got several friends who also decided not to have children, and a couple high school classmates who are just now having their first babies, at age 43.

    (PS but I do really like bacon haha…! and I’m a very nice and giving person in lots of other ways – even peripherally to do w/helping children, but I don’t want any to be my responsibility 24/7 forever)

    • Reply
      May 23, 2013 at 1:23 pm

      You are perfectly fine. It’s better to recognize and do what’s best for you than to have children because it seems like the thing to do and then be unhappy. As women, we’re often made to feel wrong or selfish for not doing or being what others expect of us… don’t apologize for knowing yourself and pleasing yourself. Also, getting pregnant at 43 is extremely unlikely without medical intervention, which is a stressful and ruinously expensive process, and certainly not worth it if you don’t Really Really want to have a child.

    • Reply
      May 23, 2013 at 10:44 pm

      I wish more people were this honest! Having kids is not for everyone! In fact, watch the news every night, it’s not for a lot of people who have them. I would never judge you for saying the truth, only you know what is best for you, I totally admire that!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 9:51 am

    I feel like I am/was you. I’m petrified of having a baby. I’ve never been interested in babies. I’m terrified that I will no longer have any time for myself, for my hobbies and interests, and tv show marathons. I struggle with feeling selfish for having those thoughts. I’m going to be 31, and my husband and I are thinking we should start to try.. I think I’m ready, but I also have so many fears. Your post makes me feel a little bit better about all this.

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 10:02 am

    Love this post.

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 10:06 am

    I’ve been following your blog for quite a while now, and THIS – a baby post on a beauty blog – is the post that has finally urged me to comment.

    To be totally honest – I am TERRIFIED of having kids. I’m 27 and am getting married in four months to my 33 year old fiance, who is clamoring for a baby. I’ve been working in pediatrics for the past five years so I obviously love kids, but I immediately get a pit in my stomach when thinking about getting pregnant. I can recognize that, in theory, I do want kids, but when it comes to making concrete plans…all I can think about is that I’m “too young,” I want to travel more and advance my career…and that having a baby will ruin my life (not to be dramatic or anything, ha!).

    To those who had this same feeling: does it ever pass? Did you ever feel “ready” to have a baby, or did you just decide to get pregnant while still feeling that you didn’t want kids? I’m not getting any younger, and I’m definitely starting to feel the pressure to get pregnant in 2-3 years. But holy heck, I am NOT ready!!

    • Reply
      May 23, 2013 at 10:30 am

      I think this may be a two-pronged answer. First (and it’s the one I heard the most): you’re never “ready” to have baby, sometimes you have to jump in with two feet (hopefully not literally) and go for it. The second response I have is the one I gave to a friend who recently got married, passed the bar, and wants to focus on establishing her career. Her husband is much older and wants a baby sooner rather than later but I told her she needs to do what feels right for her. I can say I never felt “yep ready, let’s do this” and I have some past experiences that made me that much more hesitant to pull the trigger. That said, if you know you are ABSOLUTELY NOT ready, I say, listen to your instincts. Babies are very beautiful blessings that can sometimes just push their way in and it may be out of our hands but overall, always always listen to your instincts. I hope this doesn’t offend and I hope it helps provide some perspective.

      • Reply
        May 23, 2013 at 11:11 am

        Thanks for the advice, Sammi. I just sighed a big sigh of relief reading your comment to listen to my instincts. Thank you for that!

    • Reply
      May 23, 2013 at 1:38 pm

      There are normal pre-baby nerves and worries, like “what if I’m not a good mom?” or “will I ever sleep again?” or “What if I totally mess up this little person and he/she is in therapy for forty years?”. Then there is really not being ready to have a baby. You seem to be in the second camp. A baby doesn’t ruin your life, but a baby does change it forever in thousands of ways. Traveling and advancing your career cannot and will not be your priorities, at least not for several years. You don’t have to apologize for not being ready, but I strongly encourage you to be completely honest with your fiance about your feelings, because it’s so important to be on the same page about such a monumental decision. My husband pressured me into having kids before I was ready ( I was 26, he was 33 and didn’t want to be an “old dad” ) and while I adore my children, I wish I’d had more time before I became a mom. Sometimes I feel like I missed my chance to live for myself and figure out who I was and pursue my dreams and ambitions. That’s a heavy burden and a strain on a marriage. BE HONEST with yourself and the man you love about what you really want – the time to figure this out is before you get married.

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 10:13 am

    Another tear-jerking post Cara!!! you are so good at sharing your stories through words..

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 10:30 am

    Cara, you are as beautiful inside as out!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 11:03 am

    My husband and I decided that we were going to start to try for a baby. Every time it comes down to it I alway back out. This has been going on for months now, its just such a scary step. I love children don’t get me wrong theres just the what if and so many things can go wrong. This is probably the best way anyone has ever explained being a parent.
    Thank you for that.

  • Reply
    Mommy Notes (@gapgrad)
    May 23, 2013 at 11:07 am

    This made me cry! I’m sitting here typing with one hand while my newborn naps on my chest and my toddler races around our living room. I was petrified, too, to become a parent–but you are right. These babies only add to our dreams.

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 11:48 am

    Loved this Cara! You are as talented with words, as you are with beauty tips.
    Love you, Aunt Kathy

  • Reply
    Rachel G.
    May 23, 2013 at 11:55 am

    Thanks so much for this article! I am definitely not in any rush to have kids, but have those baby hungry friends (and family) around, and I often think a lot of these same things! It’s good to hear a new perspective and somebody admitting to not being excited at first! And what a beautiful little boy he is ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    What an honest post!!! At times during my pregnancy I felt the same way!!! I almost felt selfish for having those feelings, and didn’t want to share them with anyone. I must say though, my son just turned 5, and I CANNOT imagine my life without him. He is just his own little person! Trust me, I missed those long uninterrupted nights of sleep, and my co-workers (while on maternity leave), but looking back on it, it kinda makes me laugh. Who wouldn’t be scared of the unknown, carrying a child in your stomach that you two created and worrying about failing. Every day isn’t perfect, I find myself having meltdowns and needing my own timeout, but I’ve come to look at it as the most wonderful and rewarding experience!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 12:07 pm

    Thank you so much for posting this. As a newly married woman, I want children with all my heart, but sometimes I have inklings of these thoughts, too. It’s comforting to hear your experience, and to look forward to the time when I’ll hear little feet running around my house.

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 12:11 pm

    Amen! Your story about having a child and getting married is very similar to mine- it’s creepy, really! I was scared to death when I got pregnant but my son has made me a better person than I could ever be on my own. So cheers from one mom to another! And P.S. I just had my 2nd (planned this time! and no more!) and am really trying to get in the groove of actually looking like a woman again. So THANK YOU for the inspiration. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 12:33 pm

    oh you! stop it. you’re making me cry.

  • Reply
    Megan M.
    May 23, 2013 at 12:43 pm

    Beautiful! And Christian is gorgeous.

    I wasn’t that crazy about children before I had them, either, I just didn’t realize it because I was around them so little. I just took it for granted that I would get married and have kids. I love, love, love my daughters so much. But other kids? Meh.

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 12:43 pm

    I’m 23 and currently 7 and a half months pregnant. I’ve been married for 8 and a half months…This baby was a HUGE surprise. And I have been terrified. I AM terrified. I, in no way, am really “enjoying” this pregnancy. So much so that I asked my doctor this past Monday if it was normal to dislike pregnancy to this degree. She, of course, was very sweet and reassuring. I already know that I love this baby boy more than I can possibly put into words, but that doesn’t change the immense terror I feel of raising another human being. This post was beautiful and very comforting to hear from someone else that they have been just as scared. Your son is beautiful and you are such a beautiful mother. Thanks for being open and honest and being a rock to cling to so I don’t feel so alone in the scary new world of motherhood.

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 12:47 pm

    Aaaaaand I’m crying!! Another one of those things that just happens at even the slightest heart warming thing after having babies ๐Ÿ™‚ I couldn’t agree more!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 1:07 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing this!! I’ve never really liked babies all that much, and I thought it made me the biggest weirdo ever! I have also assumed that I just don’t have the “mother gene.” Should I decide to have a child (or just end up having one surprisingly) I’m very glad to know that my experience may be like yours.

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 2:11 pm

    Aww this post is brilliant. I found out two weeks ago that I’m pregnant and everything about me seems to be changing. I know I want to be a mother, but even before I knew I was pregnant I was starting to feel lost. Like maybe my dreams aren’t big enough. Maybe my dreams were just in the process of changing to include a baby. Thanks for posting!!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 2:19 pm

    Cara I love this story. It is so similar to mine. I got pregnant a lot faster than me and my husband wanted, but now love our little girl. Just like you, I never would have believed that I would want a baby, but after her I got so baby hungry. Just heard the news that I will be expecting again! It is so fun, thanks for sharing your story ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply
    Megan Daly
    May 23, 2013 at 2:23 pm

    You do emotional makeovers too!? I found your plethora of goodness (youtubes, blog, and pins) a couple weeks ago and I have told everyone about your stuff, to the extent that I think people are starting to get annoyed, ha ha. I loved looking through all of your challenges this week, you are just so awesome, and congrats on the allure awards. When I read that you had the highest score on everything, I was not surprised. I love that you are constantly making me PERSONALLY feel beautiful, and help me want to work more on showing my beauty. I have been trying all of your makeup tricks. I’m a 5 minute get ready girl, I love the side braid and just some quick fresh makeup. BUT every makeup job lately takes me FOREVER bc I’m trying to cara-fy ๐Ÿ™‚ or HACing, everyday I think it looks a little better, I know it will get easier and faster, but I just wanted to say thank you for what you do and please don’t ever stop! And a special thank you for this post, I have been having a hard time with this pregnancy, we are going from 2 to 3 kids pretty fast and it makes me soooo nervous, but having this little reminder of that overpowering love that comes when they get here was what I needed today.

  • Reply
    Tamara Buschel (@theworkoutmama)
    May 23, 2013 at 2:44 pm

    Very well said! And congrats on your win! What an honor.

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 3:56 pm

    I tell my two girls that being a mom is my favorite thing I’ve ever done….I have this box of “treasures” where I keep special things and someday when I am gone, I imagine them opening that box and looking at all of the things that were special to me, like I did when my mother died. I am printing what you wrote and adding it to my box, as I could not have said that any better than you.

    I love your blog, it has taught me so much about make up, but I also love how you give of yourself. Keep up the good work!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 4:02 pm

    You made me cry!! such a pretty way to describe maternity, thank you for writing this, sometimes people forget all the amazing things children make you feel!!!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 4:05 pm

    Love this post! I am 28 and I have a 3 month old who was a BIG surprise but the best surprise I could have ever imagined. Pre-baby, I was very career driven and didn’t think being a mother could be very fulfilling…. I’d trade the top career in my field to spend every waking moment with my daughter! I now don’t believe that it is possible to feel more fulfilled than I do at this very moment. Congrats on your win!! Love love love your blog :)))

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 4:56 pm

    Lovely post! my son just turned 3, I wouldn’t trade these past 3 yrs of my life for the world! nothing more fulfilling than being a mother!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 5:37 pm

    I love this. I want to be a mother so badly. I get tired of people saying “just wait a little while longer” or “it’s so hard” or “you’ll wish you never wanted one!” etc. it’s so sad to me. in my brain all i can think about is what a beautiful god-given blessing it is to be a parent. no matter the struggle. thank you for this.

  • Reply
    Lauren Kristel
    May 23, 2013 at 5:54 pm

    I love this entry. it brought me to tears. I can’t tell you how much I look forward to your blogs. Congratulations on the Allure win. You deserve it. Your blog has changed the way I look do my makeup, and made me feel happier about myself. Thanks so much

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 6:48 pm

    So sweet! I love when bloggers share personal stories like this because it makes the sweet smiles in the pictures real women on the other side of the computer. Such a cutie you have over there!

    Tasteful Texan

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 8:36 pm

    Oh come on, Cara. Really. I haven’t even taken off my makeup yet for the day. Was it necessary to make me tear up? Bahah.. Love the story, and the photo. Beautiful mama. Handsome, adorable and precious little man.

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 9:07 pm

    You have a way with words. Beautiful post!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 11:43 pm

    Loved your sweet story. As a mother of older kids, (17,15 and 12) I wished I had taken in their much younger years, and just lived in the moment, if I could go back and tell my young self just ONE thing? It would be to BE PRESENT. I was so young and so overwhelmed. I regret those feelings, but all I can do now is live in THIS moment. So many wonderful changes are happening with my kids now. I feel so blessed every day to be able to participate in their daily lives! I am also in a complete panic because these years are going by so quickly. My oldest sweetheart of a daughter is graduating next year. I am going crazy at the thought. Just love this time, and all the time you have ahead of you. They are wonderful times, just enjoy them!!

    P.S. I LOVE your blog, I have always loved makeup and spend late nights on sephora. Your tips are amazing and I actually pass them on to my daughter. She’s in love as well!!
    Thanks for all you do! As a mother AND a blogger. You are appreciated more than anyone could ever express!! xo

  • Reply
    May 24, 2013 at 1:48 am

    Omg, you two look sos cute together. He is adorable. And btw, congrats for our win, you deserve it :))
    xoxo Nika

  • Reply
    May 24, 2013 at 9:04 am

    This one definitely struck close to home for me! It is so reassuring because I feel exactly the way you did before you were pregnant and sometimes wonder if I will ever be ready! Everyone seems to always be pushing my husband and I to have babies and I think that adds to my inner-rebellion against it! I am so glad to hear a positive “it isn’t going to be the end of your world” outlook ๐Ÿ™‚ thank you!

  • Reply
    May 24, 2013 at 9:28 am

    I am 25 and 6 months pregnant with my first baby, also a boy. I have felt so many of the same fears as you, but by the time I finished reading your entry I was bawling my eyes out at my office. Ok, so pregnancy hormones might have *a little* to do with it… ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you for sharing your experience. xo

  • Reply
    May 24, 2013 at 9:45 am

    It’s so nice to hear a refreshing side of the story. I’m excited to be a mom some day but I’ve also feared how my life will change. Loved the post!

  • Reply
    liz @ btb
    May 24, 2013 at 9:54 am

    Ahh, this is so me. I NEVER, ever, ever caught baby fever. When I got married people instantly started asking when *they* could expect a baby. I politely said “Give us a year or so.” when I was actually thinking “HA! Maybe never!” Well, I guess I jinxed myself because I found out I was pregnant just after our first anniversary. I was SHOCKED (!!!) worried, and panic-y. Everyone around me was either trying to get pregnant or already pregnant (4 of us were just a few months apart, each) and I felt like “how the heck am I gonna love this baby, when I didn’t even plan on getting pregnant?

    Even when he was born it didn’t hit me right away. After being induced, I spent two long days in the hospital before he was finally born via c-section. By then, I was exhausted and didn’t get the ‘full effect’ or excitement of him finally being on the outside. It was two weeks later when I had him laying on my chest when he popped his little wobbly head up and looked right at me. That was the moment that my heart had been searching for. It was the moment that I didn’t get when we were in the hospital since he was on the other side of that blue sheet. It felt like I finally became a mom right at that moment.

    Now, I can’t get enough of him. I’m all over his little butt like white on rice! And now that I’ve gotten all nostalgic, I have to go smooch his chubby lil cheeks some more!

  • Reply
    May 24, 2013 at 10:30 am

    I loved your post and it reminded me of a quote I love by David O. McKay! “One of the greatest needs in the world today is intelligent, conscientious motherhood. โ€ฆMotherhood is the greatest potential influence either for good or ill in human life. The motherโ€™s image is the first that stamps itself on the unwritten page of the young childโ€™s mind. It is her caress that first awakens a sense of security; her kiss the first realization of affection; her sympathy and tenderness the first assurance that there is love in the world.” –It’s true and nobody can explain to you how much you will love your child untill you have one of your own. Only then do you understand! Right?? Oh BTW time flies…my baby just turned 21 – don’t know where the time went. Enjoy all those precious moments.

  • Reply
    May 24, 2013 at 10:31 am

    Beautifully said! And probably the best comments I’ve ever read on a blog post! Especially one about being pregnant and stuff. I don’t feel so alone with all my conflicted emotions. I’m 35 been married for about 3 yrs and still on the fence about having a kid. I think babies and kids in general are beautiful, adorable, etc. and I get all sappy when I see baby clothes and stuff, but just can’t imagine having one of my own or even being pregnant. I’m just not sure if it’s in the cards for me.

  • Reply
    erin smith
    May 24, 2013 at 11:59 am

    I just recently discovered your blog by way of pinterest and I have become totally obsessed with watching your make up tricks! I’m a cosmetologist in Baltimore, MD- they didn’t teach these tricks in beauty school! Please keep up the great videos!!

  • Reply
    May 24, 2013 at 1:05 pm

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful story! It breaks my heart reading your son went through that, and you! my son Tavin, was born at 33 weeks and during my labor I was airlifted to Seattle where my son was born. He spent 52 days there. It’s so hard having a child in a hospital, I remember I went into robot mode and I felt like I was in a far away dream land, I was just so in love with my little baby boy and I felt helpless and actually felt guilty like maybe I missed labor signs and he was fighting for his life because of me. Something inside exploded and I became this strong fighter momma that strives to protect, love, encourage and to educate my children! My son had a feeding tune through his nose after one failed attempt of eating on his own, after weeks of unsuccessful attempts of eating (he would choke sputter than sometimes even oxygen and heart rate would drop) I started questioning the hospitals method of keeping the feeding tube in all the time while he was trying to eat. I was repeatedly told no that we could not remove it, that it does more harm than good, but my son kept pulling out the tube as it was (all babies do this, the tubes would get caught in their little fingers). I was not getting any support from hospital staff, finally after 45 days of the same thing over and over, finally the hospital said we could have an ear throat nose specialist exonerated tavin, sure enough he did have an underdeveloped soft palette but the strength it did have was being lodged open by the feeding tube!!! The feeding tube was the problem and my mommy instincts was spot on! The hospital was still going to keep the feeding tube in and just wait for the soft palette to develop but I sought out the doctor and convinced her to allow a nurse to remove the tube. I was told there was a 99% chance the tube will be put right back in, I said I will take my 1% chance. 10 mins after the tube was removed, tavin finished and successfully ate his very first bottle (I had to teach him how to eat by pacing his breathing and gulps) but he never looked back nor did we see the feedin tube ever again! 7 days later we brought him home! The doctors and specialists and nurses were baffled!!! It was a miracle happening before my very eyes, watching my son eat for the 1st time successfully brought tears of so much emotion. Aren’t our babies just little miracles?! Being a mommy is the best thing I could have ever asked for! Tavin is now 21 months old and he is now a big brother to a 3 1/2 month old little girl, our sweet little Paige! Sibling bond is another sparkle in life that just takes my breath away! Thank you for your blog cara, you are such an inspiration and a beautiful person in and out!!

  • Reply
    May 24, 2013 at 1:10 pm

    Sorry for all the spelling mistakes and word misusage, my phone autocorrects words…exonerated should be examined!

  • Reply
    May 24, 2013 at 1:30 pm

    I stumbled onto your blog via pinterest looking at make-up tips and ended up tearing up over your story. It was beautiful as is your little guy. I just had my third child, a little girl after 2 boys and couldn’t be happier. They add to my life daily and are a constant reminder of all the good that I am blessed with.

  • Reply
    May 24, 2013 at 1:51 pm

    THIS is what makes your blog the best. You have an honesty and an ability to share it that proves how real you are, which makes you so relate-able. Every woman that joins this path comes into Motherhood with different feelings, and I applaud you for sharing yours. Every Mom deserves to own her feelings and know that it’s okay to feel worried and fearful about growing and being responsible for another life form.
    This was truly a beautiful post, thank you so much for letting us into your life.

  • Reply
    May 24, 2013 at 5:08 pm

    Hi. I just subscribed to your blog two days ago. I must say that you are so dang beautiful! I’ve watched some of your makeup tutorials and have to thank you. They are so helpful as I love playing with makeup. I want to someday be a makeup artist and a designer and you’ve already taught me a lot. Thank you so much. You’re my new favorite blog!!!!! Your love for your son is so heartwarming. My mama loves me that much, so I know how good it is to grow up knowing you’re loved. You’re awesome!!!!!

  • Reply
    May 24, 2013 at 7:56 pm

    i’ll never understand why people who don’t want babies get pregnant “accidentally” (ha!) and people who LONG for babies can’t get pregnant. “oh motherhood is just something i stumbled upon, oops it’s cool i guess”

  • Reply
    May 25, 2013 at 11:00 am

    Hi Cara, I absolutely love your blog, it is my favourite! I love your humour, honesty and kindness. Just wanted to say thanks so much for this post. My husband and I are planning to start trying to get pregnant in the next few months and one of my biggest fears is losing my identity and independence. I definitely want to be a mom but all of the constant stories of never sleeping and never getting to do the activities you love have a tendency to freak me out. This story is a real comfort and inspiration to me ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks!

  • Reply
    May 26, 2013 at 4:03 am

    When I was pregnant with my daughter, I heard the same things you mentioned hearing too. So my husband and I were worried about losing our freedom… You know. What everyone is afraid of when they aren’t ready for a baby yet. But one day we were out eating dinner and our server had nothing but positive things to say about having a child! I told him about how no one has said anything good about having a baby, and his response was “whoever says those things, have ugly children” well I don’t know if that’s true or not, but it’s pretty funny ๐Ÿ™‚ I’ll never forget that!

  • Reply
    April Dunn
    May 26, 2013 at 4:55 pm

    It’s even more fun to be a grandma! I had my first one last July. Though I knew it would be great, I didn’t know it would be so amazing. To look at the child and experience the wonder of your baby having a baby is beyond description.

  • Reply
    May 27, 2013 at 12:09 pm

    I am so glad I found your blog! Not only are you helping be even more beautiful on the outside but your sweet stories make me smile on the inside. Babies change your life so much and people always say things like “you will understand when you are a parent” and they honestly were right. I was terrified when I was pregnant bc my husband was in Afghanistan both times! I was so scared to be alone with kids so far from family! But I realize now that they are comforting to me especially when we are without my husband. They are amazing little people! My life is stressful with my husbands career and my crazy kids but it is all worth it. Since I found your blog I am back to becoming me not just mom and wife all the time. I am taking care of myself to make myself feel beautiful which has been missing since I gave up my career for my husbands. So thank you for everything. I feel so beautiful and you inspire me to be gorgeous! Congrats on your award. You deserve it!

  • Reply
    May 27, 2013 at 12:40 pm

    while reading this I cried, I feel the exact same way. today I had a breakdown of emotions. My baby was not planned but well wanted and everybody keeps telling me its the best feeling in the world. I love being pregnant at times but others, it just plain sucks! thank you for this, I now know i’m not the only one who feels like this.

  • Reply
    May 27, 2013 at 2:17 pm

    Hi! I have never identified more with a blog post. I was 23 and still in college when I got pregnant and I FREAKED out. I did not want a baby, never had, and was definitely not ready. After a whole pregnancy of being hysterical and depressed everything fell into place…feelings, schedules, money. My husband and I worked hard but the payoff has been amazing. I still don’t like kids, I just like my own. He’s 7 now, smart, funny and sweet. I do not regret anything. Well, maybe the hysterics.

  • Reply
    May 27, 2013 at 6:06 pm

    Okay, so I’m sitting here in Norway, it’s 2:55 am, I’m about three days away from my last exam this semester, I should be sleeping, preparing for yet another 12-hour-shift in my historybooks but.. I simply can’t stop clicking the “next page” button. I’ve only (internet-) known you for about an hour, but wow.. I’ve learned A LOT from these last couple of hours, not only when it comes to make-up (greetings from a fair-skinned, freckled, and just a tad (eh) insecure girl), but I also feel like I took a few steps further on the long path to accepting myself as who and what I am – the post you wrote where you mentioned how you see beauty in every face you lay your eyes upon, it really made a difference for me. I’ve both laughed, added a few “I need this!’s” to my wishlist and been given a little confidence-boost during these past hours – so a huge thank you!

    I also thank you for probably pushing me over the edge into the scary-yet-seemingly-very-exciting world called HAC, and thank you for having this blog/existing. I’m looking forward to following your blog until, like, forever ๐Ÿ™‚


  • Reply
    May 28, 2013 at 7:22 am

    Such a sweet post! You made me cry! ๐Ÿ™‚ He is absolutely beautiful just like his Mama. I am a new reader and it’s nice to get to know this part of you in the beginning….along with all of the beauty stuff. Thanks for sharing!

  • Reply
    tabatha johnson
    May 28, 2013 at 10:57 am

    I never leave comments…I usually just scroll through & make all the stops at my favorite blogs. This post was precious & I appreciate your honesty in all areas. That b/w picture of you & your little love is PERFECTION! Keep up the good work. I love your blog & all of your FABULOUS tips!

  • Reply
    May 28, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    That was so beautiful… thank you for sharing! I am at a similar place in my life but several close friends have had kids recently and watching them grow up and being around them has really helped me.

  • Reply
    Claudia S.
    June 2, 2013 at 10:43 am

    Beautiful story! Thank you for sharing!

  • Reply
    Holly J.
    June 4, 2013 at 6:09 am

    I know I’m late to the party. I have to tell you, my experience of becoming a mom was really similar. Everyone told me that my life would be over once I had kids. Everyone told me parenting was hard. I liked kids, but I wasnโ€™t all excited about babies. I wasnโ€™t even ready to be a mom when I found out I was pregnant. I was not excited at all. My son will be 11 this summer. Every stage is different and exciting. Iโ€™ve still been able to be myself โ€“ and teach him that it is important to stick to who you are even though times are tough. My fiancรฉ and I are looking forward to starting the rest of our family next year (planning is a good idea). Sometimes life surprises you in a good way. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply
    Mary Schreiber
    November 8, 2013 at 5:55 pm

    Your story just paralleled my last week. I’ve been married a year and a half, and just found out I’m pregnant. Not just saying this, but I really needed to read that. I will never forget this insight from you. I’m stunned at how taken aback I am….. wow…. thanks for posting Cara

  • Reply
    December 6, 2013 at 5:32 pm

    I’m five months pregnant and this is the most real thing I have read about pregnancy to date. THANK YOU. It brought tears to my eyes.

  • Reply
    November 24, 2015 at 5:40 am

    Cara, I am desperately trying to find your post on the amber necklace for teething. Can you have a mom of a teething baby out!??! Thanks doll!

  • Reply
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